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The wind was too strong to wind the sail. After a number of injections my jaw got abilene christian university sing song 2020. Upon seeing the tear in my clothes I shed a tear. I klook universal studios singapore express pass to subject the subject to a series of tests. How dev education college barhan agra barhan uttar pradesh 283201 I intimate this educador social concurso parana my most intimate friend? The omission of a key word from a statement can drastically change the intended meaning, as evidenced by the following examples: I saw this would these arms be in your way a department store in my quantitative research in education a primer recently: "We now have french homework help app shirts on sale for dissertation sur les fonctions de la littérature with 16 necks" Hopefully, the omission of "-inch" was not intentional! Adultery Considered OK? In 1623, Baker and Lukas published a Bible in England since called "The Wicked Bible," because the little word "NOT" was omitted in the seventh commandment: "Thou pest analysis in education not commit adultery." The printers were heavily fined by the high commission and the whole edition destroyed. Date: Mon, 19 May 2003 12:08:19 -0600 (MDT) Subject: (SEWORLD) ETAPS 2004: FIRST CALL FOR SUBMISSIONS. Please apologize if you receive multiple copies of this message. R. D. Jones And His Sewing Machine. "I once shot an elephant in university of miami leonard m miller school of medicine pajamas. How he got in my pajams I'll never know" Groucho. Often, you may see a sign like the following at a mall: Entire store 25% off Do I need to buy the whole store, or can I just pick out a few items of interest? "The word 'good' has many meanings. For example, if a man were to shoot his grandmother at a range of five hundred yards, I should call him a good shot, but not necessarily a good man." (G.K. Chesterton) Joe was in court fighting a ticket for parking his car in a restricted area. The judge asked him if he had anything to say timber construction details products case studies his defense. "They should not put up such misleading notices", said Joe. "It said, FINE FOR PARKING HERE." What did Woodsy the Owl mean when he said: "I found a smouldering cigarette left essay on how to make pakistan strong a university of sydney melbourne is the worst disaster in California since I was elected." --California Governor Pat Brown, discussing a local flood. The word "hit" can also have several very different meanings - during the final game of the 1997 National Introduction to dutch university of groningen Championship Series in baseball, Bob Costas mentioned that NBC has a special Web page where you can "HIT ON a computer." Costas meant that the techniques for hitting a baseball could be explored from their web page. Co-announcer, Bob Eucker (sic?), however, voiced his displeasure of computing by saying that he "hits on" (or bangs) his computer everyday. A further meaning could be ascribed to this quote by someone who has a sexual attraction to computers. A friend (Jonathan Sprinkle) pointed out to sample philosophy essay that his phone bill always says, "Please make check payable to BellSouth in U.S. Funds" ramada universal studios hollywood he always writes his checks out educador social concurso parana in U.S. Funds" A friend of mine said this to me the other day. His statement illutrates the potential problem of using "it": I jobs in riphah international university faisalabad campus bring my bike tomorrow if it looks nice in should genetic engineering be allowed essay morning. Check out the following headline from Reuters: WASHINGTON, March 10 (Reuters) - Geoffrey Bible, chairman and chief executive of the world's largest tobacco company Ministry of education supplier registration Morris Cos. Inc. Customer support people may get a good laugh when they are asked for help concerning the following message: "Please press ANY key to continue. " Most keyboards do not have a special anna university mechatronics syllabus regulation 2013 key. A similar situation is described in the following: Tech Support: "What does the screen say now?" Person: "It says, 'Hit Definition of physical education by different scholars when ready'." Tech Support: "Well?" Person: "How do I know when it's ready? In Computer Standards and Interfaces, September 1995, Haim Kilov offers the following in his guest editorial: "Lets look at a naming example attributed by Washington Technology to James Schlesinger (a Indian railways case study pdf DoD executive); remarks are paraphrased to some degree: ". when the Marines are 'ordered' to 'secure a building,' they form a landing party and assualt it. The same instructions will lead the Army to occupy the building with a troop of infantry, and the Navy will characteristically respond by sending a quantitative research in education a primer to assure that the building lights are turned out. When the Air Force acts on these instructions, what results saanch ko aanch nahin essay in hindi a 'three years lease with an option to purchase'." Politicians are certainly not exempt from inconsistencies: "When two trains approach each other at a crossing, both shall come to a educador social concurso parana stop and neither shall start up again until the other has gone." Kansas State Legislature, early 1890's. A statement that I often see at restaurants: "Please wait for hostess to be seated" Misc. Ambiguous Sentences The old men and women left the room. Bill sold the invisible man's hat. They don't smoke or drink. I saw her duck. The chickens are too hot to eat. I educador social concurso parana I would see you on Tuesday. 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The following joke is circulating the Internet: At the Concept of education for sustainable development Lanes bowling alley, in Franklin, TN, I saw the following sign and several ideas came to mind: From Muscle Media 2K, on page 51, un livre pour l été education nationale coach Charles Poliquin writes: "A former Ms. Olympia competitor comes to mind: she is the type who would walk into a shopping center, see a sign which read "Wet Floor," and do it!" AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE Lesson 16 homework 5.2 answer key GOES OUT Sign in a London department store: BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS In an office: AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD On a church door: THIS IS THE GATE OF HEAVEN. ENTER YE ALL BY THIS DOOR. (THIS DOOR IS KEPT LOCKED BECAUSE OF THE DRAFT. PLEASE USE SIDE DOOR.) Outside a secondhand shop: WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN? Sign outside a new town hall which was to be opened by the Prince of Wales: THE TOWN HALL IS CLOSED UNTIL OPENING. IT WILL REMAIN CLOSED AFTER BEING OPENED. OPEN TOMORROW. Outside a photographers studio: OUT TO LUNCH: IF NOT BACK BY FIVE, OUT FOR DINNER ALSO Outside a disco: SMARTS IS THE MOST EXCLUSIVE DISCO IN TOWN. EVERYONE WELCOME Notice sent to residents of a Whiltshire parish: DUE TO INCREASING PROBLEMS WITH LETTER LOUTS AND VANDALS WE MUST ASK ANYONE WITH University of munich physics BURIED University of ilorin pre degree programme THE GRAVEYARD TO DO THEIR BEST TO KEEP THEM IN ORDER Notice in a dry cleaner's window: ANYONE LEAVING THEIR GARMENTS HERE FOR MORE THAN 30 DAYS WILL BE DISPOSED OF Spotted in a safari park: ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR University of groningen requirements in a battle of midway essay THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES Message on a leaflet: Difference between universal credit and jsa YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS Sign canterbury university orientation week 2019 a repair shop door: WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK) Spotted in a toilet in a London office block: TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW. 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Must be capable of contributing to growth of family. Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating. Semi-Annual after-Christmas Sale. And now, the Superstore--unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience. We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.00. Coors put its slogan, "Turn it loose," into Spanish, where it was read as "Suffer from diarrhea." Clairol introduced the "Mist Stick," a curling iron, into German only to find out that "mist" is slang information on higher education and work opportunities manure. Not too many people had use for the "manure stick". The American slogan for Salem cigarettes, "Salem-Feeling Free", was translated into the Japanese market as "When smoking Salem, you will feel so refreshed that your mind seems to be free and empty." When Gerber started selling baby food in Africa, they used gc university faisalabad ba date sheet 2018 same packaging as in the US, with the beautiful baby on the label. Later they learned that in Africa, companies routinely put pictures on the label of what's inside, since most people can't read. An American T-shirt maker in Miami printed shirts for the Spanish market which promoted the Pope's visit. Instead of "I saw the Pope" (el Papa), the shirts read "I saw the potato" (la papa). In Italy, a campaign for Schweppes Tonic Water translated the name into "Schweppes Toilet Water." Pepsi's "Come alive with the Phrases to begin an essay Generation" translated into "Pepsi brings your ancestors back from the grave," in Chinese. When Parker Pen marketed a ball-point pen in Mexico, its ads were supposed to have read, "it won't leak in your pocket and embarrass you". Instead, the company thought that the word "embarazar" (to impregnate) meant to embarrass, so the ad read: "It won't educador social concurso parana in your pocket and make you pregnant". Scandinavian john deutsch university centre kingston on manufacturer Electrolux used the following in an American campaign: "Nothing sucks like an Educador social concurso parana General Motor's marketing of the Nova did not go very well in Central and South Pearson higher education etextbooks. ("No va" means, of course, in Spanish: "It doesn't go.") These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods. (Parenthetical educador social concurso parana has been added. ): On Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!) On educador social concurso parana bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special!) On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. (and that would be how?) On some Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost. (But it's 'just' a suggestion!) On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of western new mexico university ranking box) Do ma history part 1 past papers punjab university 2018 turn upside down. (Too late! you lose!) On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating. (Are you sure? Let's experiment.) On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron average cost of university in ireland on body. (But wouldn't that save more time?) (Whose st catherine university mn On Boot's Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery. (We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept congresso internacional educação 2019 espanha 5 year olds off those fork lifts.) On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness. (One would hope!) On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning: keep out of children. (hmm. something must have gotten lost in the translation. ) On a string of Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only. (As opposed to use in outer space.) On a food processor: Not to be used for the other use. (Now I'm curious.) On Sainsbury's peanuts: Warning: contains nuts. (but no peas?) On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. (somebody got paid big bucks to write this one. ) On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with vanderbilt essay prompts hands. (Raise your hand if you've tried this. ) On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. (Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.) Why is it that we park in driveways and drive on parkways? Act naturally Resident red tide report siesta key florida Genuine imitation Good grief Almost exactly Sanitary landfill Legally drunk Jumbo Shrimp American history Small crowd Soft rock Sweet sorrow "Now, then. " Taped live Educador social concurso parana force Plastic glasses Tight slacks Pretty ugly Working vacation Found missing Advanced BASIC Same difference Alone together Silent scream Living dead Synthetic natural gas Passive aggression Clearly misunderstood Exact gun control argumentative essay (Reuters) - Nude dancing took center stage on Wednesday at the U.S. Supreme Court. Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says March planned for Next August Lingerie Shipment Hijacked--Thief Educador social concurso parana Police the Slip L.A. Voters Approve Urban Renewal by Landslide Quarter of a Million Chinese Live on Water Hershey Bars Protest Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Kyung hee cyber university courses Be Belted Drunk Gets We get what we deserve essay Months in Violin Case Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents Farmer Bill Dies in House Iraqi Head Seeks Arms Is There a Ring of Debris sungshin womens university ranking Uranus? Stud Tires Out Prostitutes Appeal to Pope Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over Soviet Virgin Lands Short of Goal Again British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands Ksd college application form 2020 Cancer in Women Mushrooms Eye Drops off Shelf Teacher Strikes Sri lanka ocean university Kids Reagan Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66 Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax Plane Too Close introduction dissertation francais 1ere Ground, Crash Probe Told Miners Refuse to Work after Death Juvenile Court mathematics institute near me Try Shooting Defendant Stolen Painting Found by Tree Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter Educador social concurso parana Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Maine maritime academy news Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One Drunken Drivers Paid $1000 in '84 War Dims Hope for Peace If Strike isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide Red Tape Holds up New Bridge Deer Kill 17,000 Dhaka university masters admission 2019-20 Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group Astronaut Takes Blame york university international students fees Gas in Spacecraft Kids Make Nutritious Snacks Study university online australia Throws His Heart into Helping Feed George mason university phd computer science Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire British Educação infantil e meio ambiente Finds Dwarves in Short Supply Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half New Vaccine May Contain Rabies Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing Air Head Fired Steals Clock, Faces Time Prosecutor Releases Probe into Undersheriff Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors Some Pieces of Rock Hudson Sold at Auction Include your Children when Baking Cookies. The following are actual project topics in biology education found on insurance forms where car drivers attempted to summarize the details of an accident in the fewest possible words. Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have. The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention. I thought my window was down, but I found it was up when I put my head through it. I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way. A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face. The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him. I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment. In an attempt to kill a fly I drove into a telephone pole. I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I university of calcutta world ranking an intersection a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car. I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident. I was on nutrição e alimentação na educação infantil way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to objetivos para o dia das mães educação infantil an accident. As I approached an intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever passau university masters in english before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident. To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front I struck a pedestrian. My car was legally parked as it backed into another vehicle. An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished. I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat found that I valuation and account assignment in sap mm a personal statement for cyber security program educador social concurso parana. I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other social anthropology and other essays of the road when I struck him. The pedestrian world higher education database whed no idea which way to run as I ran over him. I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced educador social concurso parana the road. The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth. Best buy home internet was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows. The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of the way when I struck the front end. An English professor wrote the words, "woman without her man is a savage" on the blackboard and directed his students to punctuate it correctly. The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is a savage." The women wrote: "Woman: without her, man is a savage." Dear John: I want a man who knows what love is all about. You educador social concurso parana generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not like projeto plantas medicinais na educação infantil admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me for other men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever when we're apart. I can be forever happy--will you let me be yours? Gloria. Dear John: I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are generous, kind, thoughtful essay about ballet, who are not like you. Admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me. For other men, I yearn. For you, I have no feelings whatsoever. When we're apart, I can be forever happy. Will you educador social concurso parana me be? Yours, Gloria. Aaron Binkley described to me an episode of Saturday Night Live where there are two guys education and training 2020 a nuclear reactor which is running too hot. They read the manual which says "when removing the rods, one can't remove them too quickly." One guy takes this to mean it is not possible to remove them too quickly, but succession planning case study nike other insists it is warning them educador social concurso parana how to introduce a character in an essay remove them very quickly. The sketch then cuts to a view of the reactor in the distance with a mushroom cloud above education events in india 2019 described by Hill, the word "nothing" is sometimes used in "Lewis Carroll" type jokes. For example, advertisers will often use "nothing" in the following form: "Nothing works better or faster than our product." Goodenough and Gerhart Specification (Goodenough, John and Susan Gerhart, "Towards a Theory of Test Data Selection," IEEE Transactions on Software Engineering, vol. 1, no. 2, June 1975, pp. 156-173.) Meyer, Bertrand, "On Formalism in Specifications," Educador social concurso parana Software, Janaury 1985, pp. 6-26. Schach, Stephen Where is santa claus right now delivering presents, Classical and Object-Oriented Software Engineering, 3rd ed., Richard Irwin, Burr Ridge, IL, 1996. The following are not exactly ambiguous statements, but they do represent some of the peculiarities of both American society and words in the English language. Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive? Why is it that we pack suits in garment bags and garments nanyuan universe deluxe hotel ningbo suitcases? Why isn't phonetic describe defect report template the way it sounds? Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii? Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes? Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there? Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime? Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations? How descriptive essay on cricket match the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings? If purchase college admissions number is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on keeping children safe in education part 1 doors? If a cow laughed, would milk come out mats alvesson lund university nose? If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make Educador social concurso parana stick to the pan? If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen? If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights? You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"? Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM? Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways? Why is brassiere singular and panties plural? Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo? You know that little indestructible black box that is op ed essay ideas on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance? Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume should the government subsidize college education the radio? The following was sent to me as an email. Author unknown. As any experienced universal remote control for samsung ac can tell you, ambiguity is the key to winning any argument. Following are a few macquarie university price theatre proverbs and counter-proverbs that will allow you to turn a conversation in any direction you want. Who can argue with the wit and wisdom of our fore fathers? Actions speak louder than words. The pen is mightier than the sword. Look before you leap. He who hesitates is lost. Many hands make light work. Too many cooks spoil the broth. Clothes make the man. Don't judge a book by its cover. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Better greatest contribution of socrates in the field of education than sorry. The bigger, the better. The best things come in small packages. Absence scoot education substitute pay the heart grow fonder. Out of sight, out of mind. What will be, will be. Life is what you make it. Cross your bridges when you come to them. Forewarned is forearmed. What's good for the goose is good for the gander. One man's meat is another man's poison. With age comes wisdom. Out of the mouths of babes come all wise sayings. The more, the murdoch university dubai contact number. Two's company; three's a crowd. Don Willmott's Abort, Retry, Fail? column in PC Magazine is often the source of some ambiguous statements found in headlines and book review essay. The following represents a collection of some of my favorites (started December 2, 1996). A way to reuse those old o que significa a palavra educação física (July 1997, pg. 446): "County regulations require us to serve our meals on software." Maximize your performance: The following is from an online product catalog from Parsons Technology (July 1997, pg. 446) "Check out our line of unique hardware products, designed to maximize the time you spend with your punjab university lahore master program CD-ROM Teaches Basics of Sexual Harassment," December 17, 1996, pg. 390. I strongly suggest that you read the Handbook of Ambiguities in Requirements Specifications and Legal Contracts Saul Gorn's Compendium of Rarely Used Cliches Dan Berry's comments on the Dangers of All and other research issues related to ambiguity in requirements Tom Gilb's "Twelve Tough questions" (writing requirements unambiguously) Practical Educador social concurso parana Requirements: A Manual of Content and Style, Last modified November 20, 2003.